By Julie E 
Photo Credit (Gettyimages)
Naturally, I enjoy hearing that I’m not elderly. However, I consistently assert that I am elderly and that they are ageists, unsuspecting victims of the misunderstanding of what old age means in Western culture. “You think being old entails being run-down, outdated, exhausted, or finished?” “I say.”I apologize, but it is simply untrue; you can live a long and healthy life.
In other words, it is possible to age well, despite the ageist prejudice of today.
There are two interpretations to this. The first is that people are clearly living longer, in better health, and with fewer disabilities. We have the potential to play a significant role in addressing the issue of an aging society, where the number of individuals who are not working age—children and the elderly—will soon surpass that of the working-age population that supports them. Despite the reality that the majority of us are not reliant on the working adult generation, the Census Bureau and other organizations call this the “dependency ratio.” We can volunteer, we can work, and some of us have saved up enough cash to cover our own retirement expenses. Neal Lane, the former head of the NYS Office of the Aging, used to refer to the aging baby boomers as the “bonus generation.”
Furthermore, the majority of “old” folks still know how to have fun. Our gatherings could appear dull in contrast to the boisterous endeavors of the youth, who find joy in music that muffles speech.
You really don’t have to feel sorry for the majority of us.
Being young does not equate to aging well.
However, just because we age nicely does not imply that we can remain young. Indeed, a lot of elderly individuals today are able to delay the onset of old age declines for longer than our parents did. Additionally, there is a booming anti-aging business that makes the (false) claim that most of us can stay youthful by using the appropriate facial creams, exercising, eating the right foods, and solving crossword puzzles. Yet, humans will age with declines until the Fountain of Youth is eventually found. They will become more prone to long-term illnesses. Mental and physical capacities will deteriorate with time. Young beauty will give place to (what should we call it?) older bodies.
This leads us to the second definition of “aging well,” which is the belief that staying young is not the goal of aging well. It has nothing to do with preventing wrinkles, sagging, chronic illnesses, or general deterioration. It’s not about being as driven and energetic as before or about producing as much as usual. Avoiding these impairments and, most definitely, fending off death are not aspects of aging gracefully.
According to this perspective, aging well is about our inner experience as we deal with changes that are unavoidable and initially appear like a tragic fate, but are accepted by individuals who age well because they recognize that this is simply the way life is. In the end, it only refers to feeling content with our lives and ourselves as we age.
Scholars use the terms “objective successful aging” and “subjective successful aging” to describe these two distinct interpretations of aging well. Bloodless language, to be sure, but the researchers’ point is straightforward and significant. Being healthy, intellectually intact, not incapacitated, and continuing to participate in social and productive activities are all indicators of so-called objectively successful aging.
Subjective successful aging, on the other hand, is predicated on how older adults perceive themselves and their lives. Regardless of their physical and mental state, individuals are aging well if they are content—possibly even happy—with their existence.
Even if the majority of us are not elderly and dependent, numerous studies (using incredibly narrow criteria) demonstrate that the majority of mature adults do not fit the definition of objectively effective aging. Less than 15% of older adults met the requirements for objectively successful aging, according to a 2010 study that used the traditional definition of “successful aging,” which was developed by John Rowe and Robert Kahn when they oversaw the MacArthur Foundation’s study of aging in America more than 25 years ago. Fortunately, these studies also found that the majority of the individuals were still satisfied with their lives in spite of these findings. Subjectively, the majority of older persons age well.
The individualized aspect of aging healthily
Without a doubt, knowing how to age well objectively and maintain the health necessary to live a self-sufficient existence is helpful. However, despite the inevitable decreases of aging, I find it more interesting to learn how to age properly subjectively.
A few key traits of persons who age well subjectively have been identified by the same research mentioned above.
As they grew older, they acquired some important personality qualities, including optimism, resilience, flexibility, and an optimistic outlook.
Relationships with people they like and care about and who like and care about them are common among older adults who are content with their lives. Isolation is a hindrance to effective aging.
They partake in pursuits that bring them joy, value, and/or significance. While they may not always be “productive,” people who age well are occupied.
Unfortunately, those who have aged without these qualities will find little value in the information regarding good personality traits. However, the majority of people who are dissatisfied due to their lack of social interaction and/or activity can encourage themselves or get assistance to participate in activities and social interactions that they may find fulfilling. About 20% of older persons in the community are likely to be suffering from depression, anxiety, or other mental illnesses if they find it extremely challenging. Treatment, long walks, yoga, artistic pursuits, and other non-medical cures can all be beneficial to them.
“And a man can play multiple roles in his lifetime.” For example, William Shakespeare’s As You Like It
Two very significant lessons are implied in all of this.
First and foremost, it is imperative to see old age—indeed, all of human life—from a developmental standpoint. What does that signify? It’s easy. Our identities as infants, toddlers, primary school students, teenagers, young adults, and working adults with family and community duties are all distinct from how we are as babies. All of these phases are distinct from growing older, which is a life stage in and of itself.
Because it assumes that every stage of life has unique obstacles to overcome, some of which are intimidating in old age, a developmental perspective is essentially hopeful. We can, however, either successfully or unsuccessfully address these obstacles. Living well into old age is still possible.
Second, a person’s inner and external perspectives on their existence differ greatly. Even as an elderly guy, I am horrified by the adolescent stage. Don’t take me back, please. In a similar vein, younger individuals often see aging with a sense of dread about their own futures, particularly if it entails some basic losses. From the perspective of youth, old age can appear bleak.
However, that is irrelevant. What is important is that life can be incredibly wonderful from the perspective of the individuals we become as we mature.
Take it from me.
For more than 40 years, Michael B. Friedman has been involved in the mental health area as an educator, administrator, government official, and direct service provider. He teaches at Columbia University’s Mailman School of Public Health and School of Social Work as an adjunct associate professor.