By Julie E 
Photo Credit (Freepik )
These made me chuckle, and I can relate because I have an 87-year-old father who has dementia and hearing loss!
An old man…
had severe hearing issues for several years. The man went to the doctor, who was able to get him fitted with a pair of hearing aids that gave him perfect hearing.
After a month, the elderly man returned to the doctor, who declared, “Your hearing is perfect.” The fact that you can hear again must make your family very happy.
“Oh,” the man said, “I haven’t told my family yet.”
I simply observe and listen to the discussions. I’ve made three changes to my will!
“I’m 83 years old now, and I’m just full of aches and pains,” said one of the two elderly gentlemen from a retirement center who were sitting on a bench beneath a tree. I am aware that you are roughly my age. How are you feeling?
“I feel like a newborn baby,” says Slim.
“Really?” Like a baby just born!?
Yes. No teeth or hair, and I believe I only soaked my trousers.
After eating supper at the home of another couple, the ladies of an elderly couple moved from the table and entered the kitchen.
“Last night we went out to a new restaurant and it was really great,” one of the two males said as they conversed. I highly recommend it.
“What is the name of the restaurant?” asked the other man.
After much deliberation, the first man said, “What is the name of that flower you give to someone you love?”
You understand… The one with the thorns and crimson color.
“A rose, do you mean?”
The man said, “Yes, that’s the one.” Then he shouted, “Rose, what’s the name of that restaurant we went to last night?” as he turned to face the kitchen.
According to hospital standards, patients who are being discharged must have a wheelchair. But one elderly man, who was already clothed and sitting on the bed with a suitcase at his feet, said he didn’t need my assistance leaving the hospital when I was working as a student nurse.
He grudgingly allowed me to wheel him to the elevator after we had a conversation about rules being rules.
I asked him if his wife was going to meet him on the way down.
“She’s still upstairs in the bathroom changing out of her hospital gown,” he continued, “but I don’t know.”
Both members of a 90-year-old marriage struggle with memory. Although they are physically fine, the doctor advises them to start writing things down to help them recall them for a checkup.
Later that evening, the elderly guy rises from his chair to watch television. He asks, “Want anything while I’m in the kitchen?”
“Will you bring me some ice cream?”
“Yes.”
She asks, “Do you not think that writing it down will help you remember it?”
“No, I do recall it.”
Of course, I also want some strawberries on top. Perhaps you ought to put it in writing so you won’t forget it.
“I can remember that,” he says. You desire a strawberry-flavored bowl of ice cream.
“I want some whipped cream, too.” You’ll forget that, I’m sure of it. Write it down, she says.
“I don’t need to write it down; I can remember it!” He says, annoyed. For heaven’s sake, I received ice cream with strawberries and whipped cream!
After that, he limps into the kitchen. Twenty minutes or so later, the elderly guy comes back from the kitchen and gives his wife a dish of eggs and bacon. She takes a time to look at the plate.
“Is my toast somewhere?”moment