By Julie E 
Photo Credit ( Pixabay )
Someone asked my mother-in-law how old she felt last month at her birthday celebration. Immediately after, she answered, “Sixty-five.” The drawback? In reality, she was celebrating her 95th birthday.
Since we always perceived our parents and grandparents as older when we were growing up, we assume that this is how they have always felt as well. Nobody explains to us when we’re younger that our fundamental sense of self doesn’t always change as we become older.
Consider reunions from high school. Last summer, I went to my 40th class, and although I was amazed at how elderly my classmates appeared, I was also immediately struck by how old I looked.
The way we feel physically and emotionally about our age frequently differs. For example, my 61-year-old spouse experiences age-related gout and arthritis pain. However, he maintains that he feels like he’s in his mid-40s most of the time.
The scientific term for this disparity is “subjective age.” Since the 1970s, scholars have been delving into this idea, and lately, interest has grown. According to a 2018 University of Virginia study, children frequently feel older than they actually are, but by the time they are in their 30s, over 70% of people begin to feel younger. Over 80% of those in their 40s say they feel younger, while less than 10% say they feel older, indicating a persistent trend.
It’s interesting to note that the German Aging Survey, which followed 15,000 people for 24 years, found that younger people generally felt younger than older people did at the same age. This implies that when my children get to be my age, they might feel even younger than I do.
People who feel younger than their actual age are generally healthier and more resilient, according to research. It’s still unclear, though, if being healthy makes one feel younger or if feeling younger merely makes one feel better. However, finding out how old a person feels could give medical experts information about their likelihood of developing health problems.
Some critics contend that in a society that marginalizes aging and exalts youth, the idea of subjective age perpetuates ageist prejudices. For instance, a study discovered that individuals find it difficult to understand the concept of subjective age in societies where old age is valued. A perplexed Jordanian interviewee said, “What do you mean by how old do I feel? I feel 80 because I am 80.
Whatever the consensus on subjective age may be, researchers concur that our thoughts about aging play a major role in determining how we age. According to research conducted in 2022 by Susanne Wurm, those who consider aging as a period of progress and development can expect to live an average of 13 years longer than those who see it as a decline. In a similar vein, research on internalized ageism in the United States by Yale professor Becca Levy indicates that those who have a positive attitude about aging may live an additional seven years longer.
It appears especially harmful to set self-imposed boundaries, such as believing it’s too late or that we’re too old for certain pursuits.
For my sister, who is 62 years old chronologically but feels much younger when we are together, this viewpoint is ideal. She had to remind herself recently that it was her responsibility as a school administrator to step in when she saw schoolchildren jumping over storage shed roofs.
She said, “It looked like so much fun—like the chimney sweepers in ‘Mary Poppins.'”
If only she could let go a little more of her childlike spirit.